T’was The Night Afore Non-Denominational Holiday Day

With Transcript

A poem by Dr Stein, featuring the cast of 2115 and narrated by AJ from Pretending With Dice

You can hear the cast performing below and on YouTube

(Narrator) T’was the night afore non-denominational holiday day, and all through the base,
Nothing was stirring, but was that ever the case?
The doors were barred and locked as was the custom, 
In the hope that no debtors or bounty hunters might come a-rustlin’ 

The fluffies were snuggled up in their crates, 
Dreaming of playing with chemical substrates. 
When all of a sudden, number fifteen-eleven
Had themselves a dream, a flash of inspiration! 

(Fluffy)“Oh my!” 
(Narrator) They exclaimed while pointing a paw to the ceiling, 
(Fluffy)“Oh golly! I think this idea might just change everything!” 
(Narrator) And so they moved off, creating such a clatter,  
That Stan came through to see what was the matter. 

(Narrator) With a cheerful smile he asked 
(Stan)“Whats all this fuss?”
“Lets have some tea, and we can discuss.” 
(Fluffy)“No time!” (Narrator) Declared fifteen-eleven, 
(Fluffy) “I must get a move on, 
And sort this surprise all before dawn.” 

(Stan) “I’ll help you!” (Narrator) Stan said cheerfully, 
Because he’d been gifted with that personality. . 
(Stan) “What is it you need, the base has all sorts of goodies?” 
(Fluffy)“I need rope and music and a fire and cookies!” 
(Narrator) Stan didn’t question why fifteen-eleven,
felt she that she needed lights and confection, 

So they hurried to the lounge, where sprawled on the couch, 
Was Lottie the tabaxi, in a festive hoodie with Rudolph for a pouch. 
(Narrator) Lottie pulled a face and awoke from her nap. 
(Lottie)”Why have you burst in here with your sack of burlap?” 

(Fluffy)“You like to hunt! And I need your advice.”
“What’s a better trap, a noose or a vice?” 
(Lottie) “I’d say a noose” (Narrator) Lottie mused, stroking her chin. 
(Lottie)“But depends on the prey. Wing, foot or fin?” 
(Fluffy) “All three I think, but I can’t be sure. 
I’ve never seen it in the wild before.” 

(Lottie) “Figure that out and go see Irois, 
They can track anything, not just underwater.” 
(Narrator) so the fluffy said,
(Fluffy) “Thank you Lottie!”
(Narrator) And bustled out feeling even more jolly. 

(Narrator) Fifteen-eleven and their faithful pal Stan, 
Hurried to the basement for the next stage of their plan. 
To see living down there in the salt water pool,
Irois the tuna-gelf, and Whaley, a bit of a fool. 

(Fluffy) “Irois, Irois are you down here?
I need your assistance for the plan of the year!” 
(Irois)“Whats all this racket?” 
(Narrator) Asked Irois with a frown, 
For the word “plan” made them concerned for the town. 

(Fluffy) “You’re the best tracker, we know that for sure. 
Will you teach us to chase, like a shark on the shore?” 
(Narrator) Irois smiled their toothy grin. 
(Irois)“I know one better, how about yellow-fin?”

(Narrator) So Irois taught fifteen-eleven how to hunt like a pro, 
Showed them how to reload, and to fire a crossbow. 
(Irois) “You be careful now and point that away from your face, 
We don’t need your cotton brains all over the base.” 

(Narrator) With this new knowledge fresh in their possession, 
Fifteen-eleven continued their mission. 
By now the nighttime was slipping away, 
And they had much to do before non-denominational holiday day. 

(Narrator) In his sound proof room, the next stop was Tam-Tam, 
(this was exciting for they were part of his fan-dam) 
(Fluffy) “Tam-Tam please help us, we need a new tune!”
“Something that’s soothing to lure one to their doom!” 

(Tam-Tam) “well aren’t you lucky, for this very eve
I’ve taught my rat choir a musical weave.
This song of my composure, is haunting yet jolly,
And sure to tempt someone to stumble to folly.” 

(Narrator) The rat choir performed, in key and kept tempo, 
While Tam-Tam conducted this cracking concerto.
(Tam-tam) “Aren’t they grand!” 
(Narrator) He exclaimed when they were all done. 
(Tam-Tam)“Take them with you, and make sure to have fun!” 

(Narrator) The party now bigger, they made for the stairs, 
Where they met the good Doctor, with an armful of pears
(Fluffy) “Doctor! Why are you out of bed? 
In the last episode you weren’t you just hit on the head!” 

(Doctor) “That doesn’t matter right now you see, 
I needed out the lab, I wanted to pee, 
Any excuse to be here right now,
To further this tale and include a rhyme for snow.” 

(Doctor) “That looked better on paper I must admit, 
This poem business is quite the complicated remit. 
Look next for Index  or Trikyklo Theta, 
Before all of this gets a little too meta.” 
(Narrator) To our listeners, I’m sorry, this verse could be better.
I’m a last minute hire, they found me on Twitter. 

(Narrator) They waved the doctor off to the lavatory, 
And headed off to explore the second story. 
(Stan) “Look over there in the shadows,
It looks like a tricycle, with shimmering tassels!” 

(Trikyklo) “I’d ask you, politely, to not point them out. 
Why not comment instead, on my wheels or my pout? 
I have arms and legs too, now watch me transmorph!” 
(Narrator) We can’t play the sound effect, copyright, of course. 

(Fluffy) “Oh Trikyklo, we’ve found you! this is just perfect!,
We need your assistance for our new festive project!! 
(Trikyklo) “What do you need Fluffy and Stan, 
And this of collection rats, are they a band?” 

(Narrator) Fifteen-eleven showed Trikyklo the lift, 
And pointed to the button in the top most left. 
(Fluffy) “Stan is too short, and he is the tallest among us.
“If you hit that button, it would save us such fuss.”  

(Narrator) Wishing for more grandeur, but willing to participate, 
Trikyklo obliged and stepped into the freight crate. 
Extending his arms to help out a chum, 
It suddenly went wrong, cos Belry rolled a one. 

(Narrator) the lift suddenly began to plummet 
From it’s passengers a scream did emit. 
Just as they thought it would all come to an end,
The lift juddered to a halt, and they heard a friend!

(Index) ,”are you alright? Let me roll for electronics.”
(Narrator) Luck was with Index! She rolled high! Twenty-six!” 
The doors pinged open, and in jumped the rat, 
(Index) “Thanks goodness I found you, else you’d ‘ave gone splat!” 

(Narrator)The same questions and queries were discussed once again, 
Index nodded and listened and it didn’t stop then.
(Index) “With this I shall assist you, because it seems to me, 
This plan of yours is complicated, and rather tricksy.” 

(Narrator) So with help from Stan, Trikyklo, rats and Index, 
Fifteen-Eleven’s smart plan was ready in minutes
They rigged up a noose, and trip wire for good measure, 
Set a fire in the grate and fetched a bag for the treasure. 

(Narrator) They turned down the lights and fought over hiding places, 
Making quite the racket as they all took spaces. 
Soon enough they all settled into the dark, 
Ready to wait for their prey to soon embark. 

(Narrator) Minutes passed quickly then maybe an hour, 
In the darkness, for their target,  they continued to scour. 
Suddenly from the darkness  there came a Twang! 
A short loud scream, and a noisy bang! 

(Index) “I’ll get the lights, Trikyklo guard the door!” 
(Trikyklo) “I’m on it, here I go, ah! What’s that on the floor?!” 
(Narrator) On came the lights, bringing the reveal, 
What had all this been for, aside festive appeal? 

(Narrator) Eating crackers, and strung up by her foot. 
Was the good doctor, and she had one word (Doctor) “Loot!”
(Narrator) Crumbs sprayed over a red sack on the floor,
As the rest of the crew burst through the door.

(Lottie) My goodness!  (Irois) It’s a gift giving sack! 
(Tam-Tam) Is this normal, is it going to attack?
(Index) Of course not my child, its carrier is long gone! 
(Irois) A festive beluga whale, at least where I’m from. 

(Trikyklo) I thought a big man broke in, 
And clever Fifteen-eleven foiled him! 
(Tam-Tam) The rat choir must’ve frightened him away,  
And he dropped his sack to flee to his sleigh! 

(Narrator) Fifteen-eleven beamed in pride, 
And they cut down the doctor just before she died. 
So let’s join the 2115 crew and gather round, 

Im afraid that dear listeners, our tale is now done
We wish you the best for the season & 2021

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